Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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