you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Drunk is a universal language darling
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