we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
All I want is dick and wine.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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