so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
