I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
