So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
