Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
