I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
