its not stalking. its research.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
