Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
