Pass out mid-funnel last night.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
