you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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