I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
