Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
