The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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