The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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