Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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