you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
