my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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