all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
