Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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