Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
