You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
When are your genitals available?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize