I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
