i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
nutella sex= disaster
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
