I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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