Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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