this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
