That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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