Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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