She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
love makes seman taste better
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
