I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
