And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
