Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
