It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
