wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
