Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
