Banned from zoo.
Again?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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