Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
