And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
