maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
