I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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