is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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