i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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