I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
