We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
