im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
