i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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