Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
