i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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