okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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