I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just invented taco cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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