should my penis look like a turkey
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
