Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
