Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
