Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
