I CAN MOONWALK!
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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