I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
