Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
