She said her name was "party"
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
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Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
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We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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