i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
