Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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