I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize