mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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