She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
