Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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