Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
