Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
