new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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