New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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