they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
