I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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