I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
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